Build a Core Identity That Can't Be Shaken
- Jeremile Alexander
- May 30
- 2 min read
Your core identity is the inner anchor that grounds you—so projection, envy, and criticism can’t uproot your self-worth. Without it, you’re at the mercy of other people’s opinions. With it, you transform insecurity into unshakable self-trust.
Here’s how to build it step by step.
1. Uncover Your Non-Negotiable Values
Ask yourself:"What principles would I defend—even if I was ridiculed for them?"
Examples: integrity, creativity, compassion.
Action:Write down 3–5 core values. Then use them as filters:
👉 "Does this job/relationship/path align with my values?"
2. Define Your "Universe"
Projection thrives when you orbit others' lives. Instead, define your own.
Your Purpose: What mission feels meaningful to you?(Example: Empower others through art.)
Your Growth Zone: What habits or skills make you feel alive?(Example: creating, exploring, learning.)
⚠️ Not “Be better than X,” but “Become my fullest self.”
3. Rewrite Your Narrative
Your past doesn’t have to dictate your identity.
Old Story: “I’m unlovable because my parent criticized me.”
Evidence Hunt: List 10 times you were loved, competent, or resilient.
Reframe It:Old: “I’m jealous because I’m inadequate.”New: “My envy points to a desire I haven’t owned yet.”
4. Anchor in Daily Actions
Identity is reinforced by what you consistently do.
Micro-Commitments:
Value: Authenticity → Action: Say “I disagree” today.
Value: Courage → Action: Share an unpopular truth.
Rituals: Start your day with identity-based affirmations: “I am someone who acts with integrity and pursues growth.”
5. Create Identity Boundaries
Protect your inner foundation.
When Criticized: “Does this feedback align with my values? If yes, I’ll learn. If no, I’ll let it go.”
When Feeling Envy: “Their success reflects their journey—not my lack. My path is mine alone.”
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